Trust Comes First: Why Real Communication Is the True Beginning of Every Sale
Very early in any sales cycle, before features, before pricing, before proposals, you have exactly one job: establish trust.
Not rapport.
Not likability.
Not a flawless elevator pitch.
Trust.
Because before someone will buy from you, they must be willing to tell you the truth. And people do not tell the truth about their lives, their frustrations, their fears, or their goals, unless they trust the person they’re talking to.
Think about what selling actually requires. In order to help someone make a good decision, you need to know:
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What’s really bothering them
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What they’ve already tried (and why it didn’t work)
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What they’re worried might happen if they choose wrong
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What outcome they secretly hope for but haven’t said out loud
None of that information shows up in a surface-level conversation. It only appears once trust is firmly in place.
The Buying Process Is Emotional (Whether We Like It or Not)
Contrary to what many sales training programs suggest, people do not buy logically.
If buying were purely rational, salespeople wouldn’t exist. We’d just need clerks.
A prospect would walk in, read a spec sheet, compare prices, weigh pros and cons, and calmly say, “Yes, that is the optimal solution for my situation.” End of story.
But that’s not what happens in the real world.
Buying is emotional and often irrational. People worry about making mistakes, being judged, wasting money, looking foolish, or choosing something that reflects badly on them. Even in B2B environments, especially in B2B environments, those emotions are alive and well. Careers, reputations, and bonuses are usually on the line.
The paradox is this:
If a salesperson is going to help a buyer think more rationally and make a better decision, the salesperson must first establish emotional trust.
Social Communication vs. Real Communication
Trust is established by breaking through the barrier between social communication and real communication.
Here’s a simple example.
You arrive at work in the morning and ask a coworker, “How are you?”
What do they say?
“Fine.”
Are they actually fine?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But that answer wasn’t intended to convey the truth. It was intended to be polite.
That’s social communication, safe, surface-level, and emotionally guarded. It keeps things moving, avoids discomfort, and doesn’t require vulnerability.
Now imagine a different scenario.
You sit down with a close friend and ask the same question. After a pause, they say, “Honestly? Not great.”
That’s real communication. And it only happens when trust already exists.
Why Prospects Keep Pretending Everything Is “Fine”
Most people go through life saying they’re “fine” because they rarely encounter someone they trust enough to stop pretending.
They’ve learned, often through experience, that opening up can be risky. They might be dismissed, rushed, talked over, judged, or “sold” instead of helped. So they protect themselves by staying surface-level.
In sales, this shows up all the time.
A prospect says:
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“We’re just looking.”
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“We’re happy with what we have.”
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“We don’t really have a problem.”
And the inexperienced salesperson takes that at face value.
The experienced salesperson knows better.
Those statements don’t mean there’s no problem. They mean trust hasn’t been established yet.
The Cost of Staying in Social Conversation
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Most sales don’t fail at the close. They fail much earlier.
They fail because, by the time the salesperson asks for the order, they’re still having a social conversation.
The prospect never fully revealed:
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Their real objections
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Their actual decision criteria
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Their hidden concerns
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Their emotional motivations
So when the close comes, it feels awkward, forced, or premature. The salesperson is asking for a decision based on incomplete information, and the prospect knows it.
That’s when you hear things like:
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“Let me think about it.”
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“I need to talk to my partner.”
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“Send me some information.”
Translation: I don’t trust you enough yet to move forward.
What Trust Actually Looks Like in Sales
Establishing real trust doesn’t mean oversharing, becoming a therapist, or trying to be everyone’s best friend.
It means:
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Listening without interrupting
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Asking questions you genuinely want answers to
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Allowing silence instead of rushing to fill it
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Demonstrating that you understand their situation, without immediately pitching
When trust is present, prospects start saying things like:
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“Can I be honest with you?”
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“What I’m really worried about is…”
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“I probably shouldn’t say this, but…”
Those are not objections.
Those are invitations.
Trust Carries You to the Close
Once real trust is established, the rest of the sales process becomes dramatically easier.
Objections surface earlier, when they can actually be handled.
The solution feels collaborative instead of confrontational.
The close feels natural, not manipulative.
And when the prospect says yes, it doesn’t feel like they were sold.
It feels like they were helped.
Establish trust early, break through social conversation, and insist on real communication, and you won’t just close more sales. You’ll create better outcomes for your prospects and a far more satisfying sales career for yourself.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t buy from salespeople they like.
They buy from salespeople they trust.
